So last night saw me deleting my facebook acount in a angry rage. All because of a few words.
I made a post earlier in the evening about struggling and received a comment from a very close friend someone i thought understood me very well but how wrong i was! It was a simple comment basically telling me i have a million things in my life to be happy about and that i need to chear up and get on with life. The emotions that surfaced when i read that were really mixed i felt angry with my friend for thinking its something i have the controll to just pull myself out of i felt angry at myself for thinking my friend understood, i felt upset that my friend thought i was wanting to wallow in self pitty and hurt that ive had to strike this friend off as another one who just doesnt get depression and anxiety. I wanted to comment back and tell them all that but in typical depression style i just withdrew. Left feeling i cant express myself on facebook without getting negativity i chose to remove it from my life, as simple as that another social tool has been removed from my life.
It brought me to thinking no matter how much people say they understand how you are feeling unless they have ever genuinly felt that way themselves they really dont understand or have any clue how you feel. Theres so many comments no depression or anxiety sufferer ever needs to hear and believe me over the years ive herd many of these.
- Its all in your head.
- Pull yourself out of it.
- Theres always someone worse off than you.
- Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
- You just need to give yourself a boot up the butt.
- You have everything in life so why are you not happy.
- What do you have to be depressed about
- You just need to get out more.
- You dont look depressed.
- You will be a better person because of it.
To name just a few. These things are normally said by people who we think understand but then learn they really dont. The impact just one of those comments can have is huge. It makes me fell like they think im enjoying feeling this way! Like i have some sort of control over it. Let me tell you there is no control depression is like a parasite it enters you and takes controll you dont want it there bever asked for it and dam well want rid of it but its refusing to leave.
I really wish i could do all of the things that are said to me more than anyone but i cant depression doesnt allow it its taken its hold and is refusing to leave. Sometimes i think im winning the battle of killing it but then it comes back with fresh strength and once again floors me.
So if your reading this and know someone struggling with depression or anxiety take note never to mutter those few words even if your thinking them. Bite your tounge and realise those few words can destroy the person you say them to they can set that person back in a huge way and make them feel alot worse about themselves than thwy already do and it will most definatly make them feel there relationship with you it not worth there effort when you dont understand the suffering they are facing.
And to those of you who like me get those words said to them. You are doing great you will get through and you will find the support you need with fellow sufferers. We stand united in this fight and hopefully one day we will all win it to.